Feelin' Way Too Damn Good
by Sucker-4-the-Major
Summary: Bella has 2 and a half year old twins and lives in Seattle with Rosalie and Alice. She's a good mother but still misses the man whose cruel words nearly killed her."He promised me forever and broke that promise in the blink of an eye."OOC M for lang/lemon
1. Feelin' Way too Damn Good

**DISCLAIMER- I do NOT own Twilight. This story is from my messed up little head and is in NO way affiliated with Stephenie Meyer and her written work.**

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**-Sometimes I think best if left in the memory/ It's better kept inside than left for good/ Lookin' back each time they tried to tell me/ Well something's gotta go wrong/ Coz I'm feelin' way too damn good.- **_"Feelin' Way Too Damn Good" - Nickelback_

_ It felt exactly like the first time as he ran his hand down my bare back. He kissed my neck and I was having trouble remembering to breathe. He's always had a talent for leaving me breathless, even if it _was_ unintentional. The dazzling smile, and love shining in his eyes sent my heart into overdrive while his hand wandered farther south. His lips found mine and I sighed in relief, it had been too long since I had had the pleasure of feeling his stone lips on my own pliable ones. He murmured his love for me and layed me down in the grass. His skin sparkling the rarest of diamonds as he hovered above me. Looking deep into my eyes his lips parted to say something._

_"Bella, darlin', I like to move it move it. I like to move it move it..."_

_What the fuck? That's not his voice. Why is he dancing all of a sudden?_

_"What the hell are you doing?" I was beyond confused, this wasnt how it was supposed to happen._

_"All girls all over the world original King Julian pon ya case man!" As he was dancing the sparkle of his skin started to fade._

_"Noooooo auntie Awiiiiice. I wanna hear da woboting part." What in the world was that? Where did that voice come from? _

_The gorgeously naked man in front of me then raised his arms and said "Look, I am roboting."_

SMACK!

"Ouuuuuch!" I yelled and rolled over in an attempt to ecape my attacker only to find myself being reacquainted with the rug by my bed.

I stood up slowly while rubbing my left arm that had been slammed into the ground and trying to ignore the pain on my cheek where I had been smacked.

"Mama, you otay?" Ginevieve my two and half year old daughter asked me.

"Mama's fine baby, where's Noah?"

I climbed back into the bed and pulled her onto my lap and running my fingers through her blonde curls.

She leaned her head back to look at me, her eyes the strangest mix of grey and topaz still looked sleepy.

"I dunno mama, I sleeping. Mama owie?" She asked and rubbed what I'm sure was my red cheek.

"No, baby, mama doesnt have an owie. How about we go find Noah and go make some pancakes for breakfast?"

"YAAAAYYY!! Pancakes!" She took off like a bat out of hell headed towards the kitchen.

I chuckled and rose from the bed. That little girl is insane. I threw on a sweater and padded my way through the hallway towards the living room across from the kitchen.

"Really Rose? Are you serious?" I giggled at the beautiful blonde vampire who, for once, was wearing sweats and sitting cross legged on the living room floor.

"Hush up you! Do you see what your son is doing? There is no way I am letting him destroy another outfit." She huffed, then smiled lovingly at Noah, Ginny's twin brother.

"I see how it is then huh? You wear my clothes when you know you're going to get dirty. How is that fair?" I questioned laughing.

"It's not like you care what clothes you wear Bells." Alice announced as she came in from the backyard.

"Nice, you know what? I think I'm going to go in the kitchen and make breakfast with my daughter. At least she doesnt pick on me. You guys suck!" I blew a raspberry at them and chuckled on my way into the kitchen.

"Momma! I wanna help too!" Noah yelled and ran up to me latching on to my left leg.

"Okay baby, come on." I picked him up and rested him on my right hip. "Oh dear little man, you're getting big. Momma won't be able to carry you for much longer." I tickled him with my free hand which sent him into a fit of giggles. He fussed back and forth causing his wavy blonde hair to tickle my nose.

"Achoooooooo!" I sneezed loudly and set him down on the kitchen counter.

I looked at my daughter and sighed in exasperation.

"ALICE CULLEN! GET YOUR PIXIE BEHIND IN HERE RIGHT THIS MINUTE!" I shouted, not that I needed to.

In a flash she appeared at my side. I sat down on a stool by the island in the middle of the kitchen while Alice picked Noah up and walked over towards me.

"Ginny, sweetie, come here." My baby-girl slowly made her way toward me and when she was within arms reach I pulled her onto my lap and began dusting the flour out of her hair.

"Alice why does she have flour all over her?" I glared and the spikey-haired little sprite.

"She wanted to make pancakes and you were taking to long."

"I was barely two minutes."

"She was impatient."

"I'm so sure Ali." I laughed, "She has always been a calm child, you know that. She takes after her fa-" I couldn't even finish my sentence. It hurt to think about everything that went down with their father.

Alice noticed the change in my mood and took it upon herself to make breakfast.

Half an hour later, Rose, Alice, Noah, Ginny were getting ready to go to the park. The day was overcast as it often was in Seattle.

I gave my children each a hug and kiss and hugged my two best friends as they walked out the door.

I was now alone in the house with nothing to do. Living with two vampires meant no cleaning apparently. I was never a fan of vacuuming but it would be a welcome distraction at the moment.

I curled up on the couch, wrapped myself up in the blanket that had been hanging on the back of it and grabbed the remote, turning on the tv. Nothing but talk shows were on as I half-heartedly flipped through the channels. I was still flipping through the many channels when I heard a familiar song, and because I am a masochist I left it on the country music channel and tortured myself by listening to "She's Everything' By Brad Paisley. My mind drifted to the day _he_ had played that song for me.

_We were sitting in his room in the Cullen house. His room was beautiful, hunter green walls, bark brown curtains covering a bay window and a beautiful dark wood sleigh bed on which we were currently sitting. He had his back against the headboard and I was sitting between his legs as he wrapped his arms around my waist._

_"What would you like to do darlin'? Anything you want." His deep southern drawl was creating many ideas of what I would like to do and causing my imagination to run wild. I was in the middle of invisioning quite the scene that included a cowboy hat and handcuffs when he gently shook me out of my thoughts._

_"Calm down little girl. I can't be held accountable for my actions if you keep putting out those lust vibes like that." He smirked down at me and I couldn't resist kissing him._

_"Then you need to get rid of that accent or stop talking altogether." I blushed and smiled against his lips._

_He kissed me once more and raised his head._

_"How 'bout we think of something a bit more rated PG, sugar?"_

_"Fine." I pouted, He ducked down and pulled my bottom lip in between his._

_"How about I play for you darlin'? Would you like that?" He smiled that million-dollar smile and I melted._

_"I'd love that baby." I kissed him quickly on the lips and hopped off the bed while managing not to trip and break my face. A miracle. I grabbed the guitar that was leaning against the dresser and brought it over to the bed and handed it to him._

_I curled up against the headboard and cuddled a pillow in my lap. He got comfortable sitting cross legged in front of me and shot me a smile. I responded with an excited smile of my own, I loved it when he played for me._

_And then he began singing:_

_**"She's a yellow pair of running shoes**_

_**A holey pair of jeans**_

_**She looks great in cheap sunglasses**_

_**She looks great in anything**_

_**She's I want a piece of chocolate**_

_**Take me to a movie**_

_**She's I can't find a thing to wear**_

_**Now and then she's moody"**_

_He smirked in my direction and I could feel myself turn red._

_**"She's a Saturn with a sunroof**_

_**With her brown hair a-blowing**_

_**She's a soft place to land**_

_**And a good feeling knowing**_

_**She's a warm conversation**_

_**That I wouldn't miss for nothing**_

_**She's a fighter when she's mad**_

_**And she's a lover when she's loving"**_

_It was full-blown smile now that graced his God-like features. Being the mature woman that I was, I stuck my tongue out at him. He just laughed at me and continued with the song._

_**"And she's everything I ever wanted**_

_**And everything I need**_

_**I talk about her, I go on and on and on**_

_**'Cause she's everything to me"**_

_I was fighting back tears as I gave him a watery smile._

_**"She's a Saturday out on the town**_

_**And a church girl on Sunday**_

_**She's a cross around her neck**_

_**And a cuss word 'cause its Monday**_

_**She's a bubble bath and candles**_

_**Baby come and kiss me**_

_**She's a one glass of wine**_

_**And she's feeling kinda tipsy**_

_**She's the giver I wish I could be**_

_**And the stealer of the covers**_

_**She's a picture in my wallet**_

_**and my unborn children's mother**_

_**She's the hand that I'm holding**_

_**When I'm on my knees and praying**_

_**She's the answer to my prayer**_

_**And she's the song that I'm playing**_

_**She's the voice I love to hear**_

_**Someday when I'm ninety**_

_**She's that wooden rocking chair**_

_**I want rocking right beside me**_

_**Everyday that passes**_

_**I only love her more**_

_**Yeah, she's the one**_

_**That I'd lay down my own life for**_

_**And she's everything I ever wanted**_

_**And everything I need**_

_**She's everything to me**_

_**Yeah she's everything to me**_

_**Everything I ever wanted**_

_**And everything I need**_

_**She's everything to me "**_

_The last note faded into silence and as he set down the guitar I crawled into his lap and looked him in the eyes._

_"I love you so much Jasper."_

_He smiled down at me and kissed my nose which I immediately scrunched up. He chuckled and ran a hand through my hair._

_"I love you too Darlin'. Forever."_

Forever. HAH! That was a crock of shit. I was in tears now. Thinking of him always reduced me to a blubbering mess. It was a struggle to keep it all inside when the twins were around but I didn't have anyone to hide from at the moment.

What did I do that would make him hate me so much? Didn't he realize that I loved him? He promised me forever and broke that promise in the blink of an eye and I still don't know why. All I kno is that after a little over 3 years has passed and I still love him with every shattered piece of my heart, and if it weren't for my children and my best friends, I don't know where I would be.

I just sat there and wallowed, waiting for my babies to come back.

I slowly drifted off to sleep, his name a whisper on my lips.

**-Didn't you know how much I loved you, baby / I gave you everything, every part of me.- **_"Didn't You Know How Much I Loved You" - Kellie Pickler_

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_**So what did y'all think? Should I continue? Let me know. XD**_

_**STAY GOLD PEOPLE1 **_

_**RAWR! (**P.S. that means 'I Love You' in dinosaur**)**_


	2. So Sick

_**DISCLAIMER- I unfortunately do NOT own twilight or any of the characters, no matter how much I wish I did. They all belong to Mrs. Meyer, I'm only playing around with them.**_

_**Here's some Jasper POV. Hope you enjoy.**_

_**P.S. THANK YOU FOR THE REVIEWS..MWah!**_

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_**"I'm so fed up with my thoughts of you / And your memory / And how every song reminds me Of what used to be." **__"So Sick" - By Ne-Yo_

**JPOV**

"Goddamit Emmett. Either find something to get happy about or get the fuck away from me." He had been moping around since Rose left a little over 3 years ago with Alice and my Bella. I guess she isn't my Bella anymore, but I would always be hers.

"Listen Jasper, you're not the only one who was left behind okay? My WIFE and both my little sisters left us. Will you finally explain what the fuck you did? Because it must have been pretty fucked up if they don't return e-mails, letters and have an unlisted number." Emmett was seething at this point.

Edward, who had just returned from hunting, decided to join in the conversation.

"Look Jazz, We stood up for you without knowing the whole story. We've been extremely patient waiting for an explanation. Almost half the family is gone and all signs point to you having done something so heinous that they would leave and never look back. Now I think we deserve to know what the fuck is goin on." He sat on the arm of the couch.

We were still in the house back in forks and everything was physically the same. There was something missing though, three extremely important somethings.

"To tell you the truth guys, I really don't know what happened. Things were great! Then she sends me that fucking e-mail saying that she never wants to see me again." I fell onto the couch and rubbed my hands up and down my face.

"Well they didn't just leave for no reason Jazz." Emmett yelled, "They didn't just decide one day that they wanted to tear up the family and fucking leave!" He was in my face now.

"HOW THE FUCK WOULD YOU KNOW THAT EM? MAYBE THEY DID!" I hollered right back.

He cocked his right arm back and punched me in the face with so much force that I'm sure my jaw was off-set.

"Fuck you! My wife wouldn't have done that. She loves me, I know she does. She's just protecting her sister." His glare was deadly.

"Em step away from your brother right this second." Esme glided gracefully into the room with a dejected expression on her face.

"I've had enough of this." She dry-sobbed, "My daughters are gone, and it's killing me. Could you all please try to get along? PLEASE! For me? I don't know how much of this I can take." She was sobbing in earnest. I sent her a wave of calm and she relaxed slightly and forced a half-smile onto her features.

There were too many negative emotions floating around in the living room, it was suffocating me.

"I'm, uh, I'm going to go hunt." I kept my head down as I took off into the woods.

I didn't feel like hunting at all, I just wasnted to get away. I found a rather large boulder and proceeded to make myself comfortable by sitting on it.

I really just don't understand what happened. I don't recall anything happening that would result in her disappearing from my life.

I remember the e-mail perfectly, though I wish I didn't.

_Dear Jasper, _

_ I'm leaving. I hope you have a happy life. Words cannot express just how deeply you have hurt me or how much it hurts to leave the rest of you behind. I WILL survive without you, whether you think so or not. I have no control over what Alice and Rosalie do and you know that almost better than anyone having lived with them for so long. If you wish to blame me for breaking up your fammily, so be it. Just know that they have free will and do what they think is right. _

_I will not be attempting to contact you or the others again._

_Goobye, _

_Bella_

"WHAT THE HELL DID I DO BELLA?" I screamed into the forrest, "What the fuck did I do that was so bad that you'd leave me?" I was whispering by the end of the sentence.

"Hey baby, what's all that yelling about?"

I turned around and came face to face with none other than Maria.

"What would you like Maria?" I inquired in an exasperated tone.

"Come on sweetie, you know what I want. She's been gone for over three years Jazzy. Time to move on. You could move on with me." She smiled and winked at me and I shudder in revulsion.

"Maria, we have been over this many times. I do NOT wish to be with you again at all. I left you for a reason remember? I don't even remember my reasoning for trying to be civil with you other than the fact that you decided to try our alternative lifestyle. I want nothing from you other than friendship. Is that understood?"

"Yes sir, Major Whitlock sir." She saluted me and headed towards the house.

I huffed and stared out into the forrest again.

Maria had come around about four years ago. we welcomed her because she explained that she was trying to straighten out, and we believed her. She had had the golden eyes to back up her story. I kno I probably shouldn't have welcomed her so easily, but I think living with the Cullens and being so happy with Bella had made me a little soft. We had become friends and never spoke about our tdark times in the South. She was the only person who didn't blame me for the girls leaving.

That thought just brought me back to Bella. The day I received the e-mail from her i took off like a bullet to her house to try and talk to her, but she was already gone. Charlie had passed away a couple months before and she lived there alone since she was of legal age. The house was empty. I had dropped to my knees and sobbed, well, dry sobbed, for all I was worth.

I was Major Fucking Whitlock and I had been reduced to the acts of a little girl who had lost track of mommy in a mall.

I had felt lost. I still fucking did. I need to find her, but she won't respond to any of my e-mails.

I gave up on thinking and decided to head back to the house. I took my time and dragged ass the entire way. There really wasn't anything I was looking forward to seeing in their.

I walked through the back door and headed up the stairs and into my room ignoring the curiosity and sorrow rolling off everyone in the house. I looked around and saw the things she had left behind. Her copy of Pride and Prejudice and an old t-shirt. It didn't smell like her anymore.

I wish I could sleep, it would be a welcome distraction from the pain.

"Come back." I whispered, hoping that by some miracle she would hear me and return.

_**"I'm so lost / I'm barely here / I wish I could explain myself / But words escape me / It's too late / To save me / You're too late." **__"Stockholm Syndrome" By Blink 182_

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**Well there you are. Chapter 2. I know it was a little on the short side but I hope I can make up for that in Chapter 3.**

**TO REVIEW IS DIVINE! Do you not crave divinity?**

**RAWR my lovelies**

**Stay Gold.**


	3. Keep Holding On

_**DISCLAIMER: Do Not Own Twilight. **_

**Thank you for the reviews. They make my day and fuel my writing fire. MWAH!**

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_**-Just stay strong / 'Cause you know I'm here for you, I'm here for you- **__"Keep Holdin' On" By - Avril Lavigne_

**APOV**

Rose and I were at the park with our neice and nephew. I didn't need to have a vision to know that Bella was at home, most likely crying her eyes out. I could not _believe_ Jasper. He had some major balls to say what he said to the poor girl. If it weren't for Bella, My sister and I would have happily torn him to pieces and lit a match.

I had decided shortly after moving that I would not look into their futures anymore. I didn't want to know what was going on in that house. I missed everyone terribly, except for the idiot, and it would be too hard.

It kills me that Em and Edward stood up for Jasper. Especially knowing what he had done.

I was snapped out of my thoughts when I saw Rose run, at human speed, towards Ginny who was lying on the ground.

"I really wish my visions worked better around these kids." I stated as I knelt next to them.

"Auntie Wose, it hurts. Make it better. Pwease." Gin pouted up at her aunt and Rose let loose a massive grin.

"Okay baby, where does it hurt?"

The little girl got up and started rubbing her behind. I couldn't help the giggle that escaped my mouth as Rose looked at me with wide eyes.

"How am I supposed to make her butt feel better? I'm NOT kissing it Ali." She whispered too low for anyone else to hear.

My giggling turned into full fledged laughter.

"Oh Rose, just rub it better. Don't be such a dork." I smirked and left her to tend to Ginny while I went over to Noah who was looking at the swing set.

"Hey little man, do you want to go on the swings?" I smiled down at him.

"YAAAAAAY! YESSSSSSS!" He shouted and took off towards the empty swinging seat.

I sat him down and began to push gently.

"Auntie?"

"Yea sweetie?"

"Do I have a daddy?" He looked confused.

"Ummm...well...you..uh"I stuttered.

He continued to stare at me. Asking a question I didn't know how to answer. I couldn't even see the outcome because he and his sister wreak havoc on my visions. I can't see anything wen they are around, which they are ninety-nine percent of the time.

"Well..I think...uhh..ROSE!" I gave up.

Rose came running up to us carrying Ginny on her hip, both of their blonde hair flying behind them.

"What is it? What's wrong?"

"Noah asked if he had a daddy. What am I supposed to say to that. I hate being blind to future." I whispered to her.

"Welcome to our world Alice." She snickered. "Hey Noah, how bout we get you guys some hot chocolate and get going home? Would you like that baby?"

Both twins made extremely loud affirmative sounds and we began the short walk to the Starbucks near our home.

_**RPOV**_

We got the kids their hot chocolate and were heading home when my phone vibrated. I was carrying Noah, who was resting comfortably on my hip, and reached into my pocket and pulled it out.

'_I miss you. -E'_

Emmett. I missed him so much, but he was wrong. I couldn't believe he stood up for Jasper. After all the conversations we've had about children and how much we would love to have one, he stood up for the fucking dickhead who tore the mother of his children to shreds. My ignoring him and leaving was not about him not agreeing with me. People think I'm petty and vain and I guess I can be, to a point, but I wouldn't leave my family for the sole reason that they didn't agree with me. I left with Bella and Alice because it was the right thing to do.

_'Please talk to me Rose. - E'_

I don't even know why I've kept this phone for so long. I suppose it's because it's a tie to my family, but there really isn't much of a family anymore. There is 'us' and 'them'. I do miss them though.

We finally got home only to find Bella asleep on the couch.

"Oh dear God! She's got it on the bloody country station again. She's a fucking glutton for punishment." I whispered to Alice too low for the twins to hear.

"Leave her alone Rose. She's had it rough. At least she's a lot better than when we first got here." She said as she relieved me of the child on my hip and took them upstairs to watch a movie in their play room.

She was right. Bella _was_ a lot better.

When we first got here we literally had to force feed her. She had been so happy about the pregnancy when she found out. She glowed. She came home from the doctor's office practically floating on a fucking cloud. We hadn't seen her so happy since before her father died.

Poor Charlie. It's been years and still nobody knows exactly what happened. They found him in the woods. Apparently it was a messy sight.

So not only did Bella have to deal with her father's death, but she also had to deal with my asshole brother telling her to fuck off and that he wanted nothing to do with the babies.

_***_

_She sat on her bed, Alice and I on either side of her trying to calm her down. Her body was convulsing with the sobs that were so heartbreaking it brought tears to my eyes, though they would never fall._

_"What happened B?" Alice asked her as she ran her hand through Bella's hair. _

_"He...he..E-mail. He ha-hates m-me." She managed to choke out before wiping he nose on her sleeve._

_"What are you talking about Bella? He loves you." I told her, wrapping my arm around her shoulder._

_She shook her head furiously and pointed, her hand shaking strongly, at her laptop._

_I walked over to it and sat myself down at the desk._

_The E-mail was open, I saw the name of the sender and figured that this is what she meant._

_**"Bella,**_

_**I know. I know about the baby, and I don't want it. All I wanted was a good time baby and you gave me that. I can't believe you actually thought that I wanted you and not just what was between those pretty little legs of yours. If you choose to keep these children, you will be alone. I want nothing to do with them, or you for that matter. So fuck off please and leave my family and I alone. You are nothing but a burden. Don't bother to call me. I don't want to talk to you. Just leave. Next time, don't let it be so easy to get you on your back. ;)**_

_**Yours truly, **_

_**J.W.'**_

_I was seeing red by this point and ran back to the bed and gave Bella a huge hug. She sobbed harder as she rested her face in the crook of my neck._

_"Read the e-mail Ali. Then start packing her shit. We are leaving." She looked confused but made her way to the desk._

_A minute later she had Bella's suitcase and was a blur even to my eyes as she started throwing stuff into it_

*******

I sat myself down on the loveseat and pulled a magazine from the coffee table onto my lap and began flipping through it.

"Hey Rose?" Alice called softly from upstairs. The kids must be taking a nap.

"Hmm?"

"I'm gonna go for a quick hunt before lunch. Okay?" She walked down the stairs.

I nodded my head yes and she left through the back door.

The kids were sound asleep and I had finished my magazine. I was debating on whether or not I should attempt to make lunch. I didn't want to wake Bella, she still had so much trouble sleeping.

Half an hour later Bella had woken up and we were sitting in the kitchen as she sipped on some tea while making some sandwiches for the kids.

"Hey Rose, thank you for taking the kids to park this morning." She said as she cut the sandwiches into fours.

"You don't need to thank me for spending time with them Bells." I smiled wide at her and she smiled in return.

"Did anything happen today? I know that they have Jasper's calmness, well Ginny does at least, but they have my klutziness too." She chuckled.

"Well Ginny fell off the slide and hurt her butt. She made me rub it better. Boy did _that_ get me quite a few stares." We both laughed out loud.

We heard the back door slam loudly and took off towards the sound. We got to the living roomand Alice stood there, eyes wide and her mouth a tight line on her face while her nostrils flared.

"We've got company." She hissed.

Then there was a knock on the door.

_**-Oh what a shame, what a rainy ending given to a perfect day / Just walk away, no use defending words that you will never say / And now that I'm sitting here thinking it through / I've never been anywhere cold as you- **__"Cold As You" -By Taylor Swift_

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**Tell me what you think. Reviews are LOVE!!. Let me know if you guys are liking it. **

**I welcome ideas.**

**STAY GOLD!**


	4. AN SORRY! Won't be a habit

Hey Guys, I'm sorry for doing this because I know how much I hate it when you get a chapter alert and end up with an author's note but I just wanted to apologize for the lengthy wait. I am hoping to have the next chapter up by tommorrow at the latest. I'm just battling a case of writer's block at the moment so bare with m e plz.

Any Ideas are welcome. XD

Stay Gold!


	5. Buttons

DISCLAIMER: I do not now, nor have I ever owned Twilight.

**SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO effin sorry about being late. This won't be a habit lol. **

**ENJOY!!!**

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_**"Take a chance to recognize that this could be yours" **__'Buttons' - Pussycat Dolls_

**EmPOV **

I don't know what to think anymore. He's so depressed but I can't tell if it's remorse for what he did to them, or if he honestly has no idea what happened. All I know is that when he's depressed, ALL of us are. The fucker is broadcasting and I don't even think he knows it. I can' take it anymore. Everything was great and everyone was so happy before.

I looked over at Edward sitting at the piano. Just staring, nothing else.

"Yo! Ed, wanna go for a hunt or something? I feel like a distraction." I stood up and made my way over to him.

"Sure Emm, let's go. There's nothing going on around here anyway."

Both Eddie and I took off through the back door.

_**MPOV**_

The big dumb oaf and the bronze-haired buffoon were finally gone. I mean, it's not like its hard to block him, just tiring. Carlisle and Esme are also gone. This is perfect. The only person left is Jasper. Maybe I'll go see if I can relieve his tension, so to speak.

I walked up the stairs and and stood in front of his door. I took an breath and tried to use my innocent voice. I hate that fucking thing.

"Jasper? Sweetie, are you in there?"

"What is it Maria?" He huffed, "I'm not in the mood to talk."

"She's not coming back Jazz. You have to get over her sometime. Don't let her drag you down anymore baby. She doesn't deserve you. You are a great man Jasper Whitlock. Let me show you how great you are Jazz."

I heard the creaking of the bed as he most likely sat up. It was working. I grinned at my accomplishment.

"Come on, let me in. I can try to make you feel better. All you have to do is let me."

He hesitated for a few minutes and then I could hear the creaking of the bed and his footsteps coming towards the door.

"Come on baby, let me in. No one will know. I promise not to tell. Let me make you feel better."

I saw the doorknob turning and tried to surpress the shit-eating grin that tried to cross my face. The door opened and Jasper let me into his room.

_**EMPOV**_

We reached the forrest and I found a bear. Good Lord I almost did a fucking happy dance when I saw that thing. I took it down while the Ed-man sated his own thirst.

I heard a buzzing sound and saw Edward reach into the pocket of his jeans.

"Hello Carlisle."

_"Edward, have you seen Esme?" _He sounded panicked.

"No, naturally we thought she was with you." His eyes widened as he looked at me.

_"Dammit. We need to look for her. Edward, you have to help me look for her. PLEASE!" _ He was in hysterics now.

"Calm down Carlisle, we'll find her. We'll go back to the house and look around, see if we can figure anything out." He hung up the phone and we headed home. Nothing could have prepared us for what we heard when we arrived.

_**JPOV**_

I had been stewing for the better part of a day. I actually started getting pretty fucking angry after a point. I mean, what the fuck? I was always straight forward with her and she just fucking takes off without trying to talk about it. Well, fuck.

I heard Esme on the computer. Strange. Usually she's with Carlisle. He must be at the hospital.

Edward and Emmett had just left to hunt which meant that I was home alone with Maria. Fucking JOY.

She was an ok person I guess, but she kept trying to get in my pants.

_Maybe you should let her._ the annoying voice in my head suggested.

_Why would I do that?_

_Because you need to get laid you uptight twat._

_I DON NOT need to get laid. I need Bella._

_Since when did you become such a pussy? You're Major FUCKING Whitlock. Grow some balls man._

I could sense her at my door before I heard her intake of breath. Everything she said just helped the asshole part of my brain make its choice and before I knew it I was opening the door and letting her in.

_**EsPOV**_

I needed to see them. It's been too long and I missed them so much it hurts.

I did some research on the computer. _Hacking_ would be more accurate I suppose. I found their address and didn't think twice as a I booked a flight and left without a backwards glance.

I really hope Carlisle understands and can forgive me.

_**"These wounds won't seem to heal / This pain is just too real / There's just too much that time cannot erase." **__'My Immortal' - Evanescence_

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	6. Crazy Bitch

Disclaimer: Don't own Twilight.

**Sorry it took so long. Thanks for hangin in there though people.**

** I hope to be posting another chapter by tomorrow at latest. **

**Here's the next chapter. **

**Enjoy!**

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_**"Take it off / No need to talk / You're crazy / But I like the way you fuck me" **__'Crazy Bitch' -BuckCherry_

_**JPOV**_

After I let Maria into my room I resumed my spot on the bed. I fully intended on getting a little distracted. Maybe Maria was right, she's not coming back and I need to try and get over her. Perhaps the best way to get over her it to get _on_ Maria. She seemed willing enough to help me relieve my tension.

"Glad to see you came to your senses baby. Now tell Maria where it hurts and she'll make everything better." She licked her lips seductively while making her way to where I was perched on the bed.

"Listen Maria. If we're gonna do this, we are doing it my way. This is a ONE time thing. Do you understand me?" I didn't want to be rude, she was only trying to help, but she had to know where we stood. I didn't want a relationship.

She nodded and smiled. The only emotion I could feel coming from her was lust.

"On your knees." I ordered.

She licked her lips and did as I said. Her hands began making paths up and down the upper part of my thighs. Each time her hands made their way up they went a little higher until she was stroking me through my jeans. I let out an involuntary moan and my head fell back at the contact that I had been deprived of in the last few years.

"Does that feel good baby?" She licked her lips and attatched herself to my neck and I couldn't help the moan that escaped while she continuously caused delicious friction with her hand. I was hard as a fucking rock.

"No talking Maria. There's no need." I captured her mouth with my own and stood bringing her up with me. I turned us around and laid her on the bed and crawled over her. The kisses began to get rough. This was not making love. I didn't love Maria. This was just a fuck. It didn't mean anything.

_You shouldn't be doing this. What would Bella think?_

_Fuck what she'd think. The bitch left you._

_But you still love her. This is wrong._

_Shut the fuck up, you need to get over her. This is the best way._

The fucking internal battle was driving me nuts and with that last though I tore the dress Maria was wearing of her body and threw it across the room.

She hadn't worn a bra, leaving her top half bare. Of their own accord, my hands cuppped each breast and kneaded them roughly. A loud moan came from Maria followed by a growl and the sound of more tearing cloth. I moaned loudly when I realized I was shirtless and when I felt her hand on my thigh I realized and was also pantless. I reached down and began to stroke her through her panties all the while grinding myself against her thigh and the strong scent of her arousal filled the room.

_Smells nothing like Bella's._

_STOP THINKING ABOUT HER GODDAMMIT!!!_

_Bella's scent was irresistible. I was sweet and enticing. This was bland and boring._

_Well at least she's here. Does it really fucking matter how it compares if you get to stick it to her?_

I growled loudly and tore the underwear from her body and my own followed soon after that.

_SHE'S NOT BELLA!! You can't do this._

"Maria, I can't do this." I dropped my head and rolled off of her.

"What do you mean you can't do it? What the fuck is going on Jasper?" She was pissed.

_**MPOV**_

What the fuck was he talking about? We were so close and he just stops?

He looked up at me and there was no way you could miss the sadness burning in his eyes. Fucking Bitch.

"I can't Maria. I can't have sex with you when I still love her. I thought I could. I tried, but I can't."

"You;re such an asshole Jasper. How could you do that? Work me up into a frenzy and then say no? That's low."

This was bullshit.

"Maybe if I just tried one more time to find her. If I could just talk to her."

I was fed up.

"Shut the fuck up Jasper. I'm going for a hunt. Bye." I grabbed my dress and threw it on only to realize that it had been torn.

"Oh yea Jasper, This _really _looks like you didn't want to do this." I layed the sarcasm on thick. I walked over to his drawer and pulled out a t-shirt. I slipped it on and left the room without a backward glance,

Who the fuck does he think he is?

I'll show him what happens when I don't get what I want.

_**EMPOV**_

We could hear all the moaning and groaning from the backyard. The only people home were Jasper and Maria. But they wouldn't be fucking. Would they?

"Does that feel good baby?" Shit.

"No talking Maria. There's no need." Jasper.

No. Fucking. Way.

I looked over at Edward and he had the same look of shock on his face that I did.

"I'm not going to sit around and listen to this. I'm goin to run in and grab Esme's laptop and then I'm going to get in my car and drive until I can't hear this anymore." I didn't think it was possible but Edward actually may have looked a little green as he spoke.

He took off into the house and was back at my side in a matter of seconds,

We hopped into the volvo and made our way to the end of out ridiculously long driveway.

Edward opened up the laptop and started typing furiously.

I was still in shock from what we heard back in the house that I didn't notice the time fly by. I actually jumped when Edward slammed the computer shut and yelled "Holy Crap!"

"What's going on man?" I was beyond out of it.

"We're going for a little roadtrip Emm." I was about to ask him where but he was already on the phone talking to Carlisle.

Not long after, the three of us were on our way to Seattle. The drive was mostly silent as we all contemplated what would be happening once we got to our destination.

I snapped out of my thoughts when Edward pulled into a driveway and parked. Slowly, we all got out of the car and made our way up to the door.

Carlisle raised his hand and knocked tree times.

The doorknob turned and the door opened, but we didn't see anyone standing there. Until we looked down.

_**"Hello lonely / How you doin' today? / Hello sweet thing" **__'Hello lonely' - Theory of a Deadman_

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	7. Best Friends For Never

Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight.

_**THANK YOU to my new beta GuiltyButFlawless!!! I bow to ur awesomeness.**_

_**And thank you to those of you who reviewed. MWAH you all get brownies!**_

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_**"The way we're living makes no sense / Take me back to the age of innocence."**_ _'Hollywood' By; Cute Is What We Aim For_

_**Bella.**_

I looked at the door in shock. Who could be at the door that would make Alice look that way? I turned to look at Rosalie and saw a look of pure longing on her face. Confusion was added to the shock.

I heard footsteps and my attention was brought to the stairs that Ginny was descending. She rubbed her eyes and then glanced from the three of us to the door and then back to us.

She slowly made her way to the door and at that moment I realized who it was. There were very few people Alice and Rose would have reacted that way to.

Ginny opened the door to three very shocked vampires.

_**Esme.**_

My hotel room was terrible. It was tacky and I hated being here, but I just couldn't bring myself to go yet. I looked down at the piece of paper in my hand with their address written on it and felt no confidence whatsoever.

I missed them - there was no doubt about that at all. But they have been away for so long, that I was afraid. Afraid that they didn't need me anymore and because of the way they left, I was afraid they hated me. That thought made me nervous now but when I first found the address and left forks, fear hadn't even crossed my mind.

_**Carlisle.**_

The child who opened the door looked extremely familiar and after a few seconds of staring the poor girl down I realized why.

"Bella? Is...is she?" I couldn't even get it out.

"Hello Carlisle, Edward, Emmett," Bella said looking at the ground and slowly making her way over to us. When she got to the girl she knelt down.

"Ginny, baby, Momma told you never to open the door unless she says so. Didn't she?"

The little girl sniffled a little bit and her little voice let out a simple, "Yes Momma."

"I don't ever want you to do that again, do you understand me?" Bella stood and picked up the child, resting her on her hip. Then she turned to the three of us.

"Please come in, and have a seat."

She still wouldn't look us in the eye.

_**Emmett.**_

I was torn between looking at the little girl and looking at my wife. The little girl reminded me of someone, but it wasn't possible.

"Rose," I whispered her name softly. The next second she flew into my arms and I crashed my lips to hers.

The last three years disappeared with the feeling of having Rose back in my arms.

"EWWW! Momma, why auntie Wose give suga to dat man?"We broke apart at the sound of the little girl's voice.

_**Edward.**_

MOMMA?!?

Bella has a child?

I looked at the little girl who looked like she had sucked a lemon and still staring at Rose. My eyes made their way to Bella who was laughing softly with her hand covering her mouth.

"Baby, that's Auntie Rose's husband. She's allowed to kiss him." Bella giggled.

"It's still yucky."

Everyone let out a little laugh at the girl.

"Noah's up," Alice chirped and made her way over to the stairs.

Sure enough, a little boy popped up at the top of the staircase and began his descent.

"Hey little man, did you have a nice sleep?" Alice picked him up and held him in the same way Bella had Ginny.

The word shocked didn't even begin to describe what I felt. FUCKING TWINS!

Similar thoughts were running through the minds of both Carlisle and Emmett.

"I think we may have quite a bit to talk about," I spoke up and looked at Bella who wouldn't look any of us in the eye.

"Let's move into the living room then."

We all made our way into the living room and sat down.

Emmett sat in the oversized chair with Rosalie in his lap. Bella sat on the couch with Ginny and Alice who still held Noah. Carlisle and I took the loveseat.

_**Bella.**_

I was actually shaking with nervousness. What the hell were they doing here?

I looked over at Alice and she nodded softly.

"I mean no offence to any of you but I have to ask; What are you three doing here?" My voice shook and my arms tightened around my daughter who was on my lap and snuggled up to my chest.

After a long pause Carlisle was the one to answer my question,

"We came for Esme. Apparently she is not here right now. Has she been here at all?"

I was stunned. They were here for Esme. Esme planned on coming here? The thought made me sad. I missed my 'mother' every day.

"No Carlisle, she hasn't been here. This is the first we've heard of it," Alice told him.

Edward looked confused, "You mean you didn't see her make the decision to come here?" His brow furrowed.

"I can't see around the twins. For some reason they block my visions."

I looked at Noah in Alice's arms as he stared straight at Edward. He started wriggling around and Alice let him go. He slowly walked towards him and cocked his head to the side and furrowed his brow.

"Who are you?" he questioned.

"My name is Edward. I'm your mommy's friend. At least I hope I still am." He looked at me and I felt the moisture build in my eyes.

Noah looked back at me. "Ewword, Momma's friend?"

I looked Edward straight in the eye and didn't know the answer. He had taken Jasper's side and that had hurt me so much. All three of them had hurt me. The fact that they stood up for Jasper after what he did was unbelievable.

"I don't know little man. I thought so once."

_**Jasper.**_

I can't believe I did that. No matter what happened, I still loved Bella. I felt like shit when Maria left. My head is so fucked up.

I had dressed myself and was now downstairs waiting for everyone to come back.

I turned on the T.V and started flipping through the channels. Nothing was on except for the movie The Crow, which wasn't too bad so I left it and tried to distract myself.

Near the end of the movie Maria walked in and didn't even spare me a glance as she flew to her room.

It was going to be a long night.

_**"Don't initiate a conversation, / That instigates a confrontation." **__'Best Friends For Never' By; Dropout Year_

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